Half Moon
by BrokenEmoAngel
Summary: this is new moon in edward's pov. hope you enjoy. it's my first fanfic.
1. Inevitable Subject as Always

A/N this is my first fanfic. Please don't be too harsh on the first reviews. Hope you like it. This is New Moon in Edward's POV. I don't own him. Stephanie Meyer does, but I didn't have any other idea on what to do for my first fanfiction.

The Prologue:

She is so beautiful when she asleep. The way she was twitching tonight though. The only word all night out of those soft, full lips was, "Grandma!" I was confused but didn't fret on it. When she awoke she would realize today was her birthday. While I stayed frozen as a seventeen-year-old boy, she would turn the inevitable eighteen. Well that's how she would look at it. I knew she wouldn't enjoy it. My family was throwing a birthday party for her. Of course Alice's idea. The sun started to rise. Time was short, but I would see her soon enough, again.

1. Inevitable Subject as Always:

I ran to my house, changed, grabbed the keys to my Volvo, and was on my way again. I drove extremely fast as I was anxious to get back to my Bella... umm.... my Bella has a nice ring to it. Alice had decided to come along today but I didn't mind.

_Edward.... do you think she'll like my present?_

"Of course, but she did say she didn't want anything or any attention."

_She must know that I wasn't going to listen to her. Who wouldn't want presents on their birthday?_

I pulled into school and got out followed by Alice who came to stand next to me. I could already hear her beat up truck rearing in the distance. I smiled to myself. My Bella was here at school. What was she going to think once she saw Alice holding the tiny package in her hand? Of course I would never know. Her mind was the only one I couldn't hear, forever a mystery. I was getting good at guessing what she was thinking, but still I was almost always wrong about her reaction to certain things.

She slammed the door to her truck and started to walk to me, but Alice didn't give her time.

"Happy Birthday, Bella," she all but screamed.

"Shhh," Bella said. The first thing out of her tiny, soft lips. As she looked around as if making sure no one heard.

Still Alice pressed on, "Do you want to open your present now or later?" _Please... PLEASE say now._

They finally made their way to where I was standing. "No presents," she said sternly in a mumble.

_Who doesn't want their birthday celebrated? Oh well she can't stop the party._ " Okay.... Later then. Did you like the scrapbook your mom sent you? And the camera from Charlie?"

She sighed as she realized that Alice knew what all her presents were. I wasn't the only one in my family that was gifted, Alice had seen what Bella was getting as soon as the person chose to get that item.

" Yeah. They were great," She seemed exasperated with this wonderful day. I couldn't grasp why though. She should be happy she was another year older. I was happy and content, I had not taken her life away. I had not put the burden of eternity on her. What was wrong?

Alice chimed in," I think it's a nice idea. You're only a senior once. Might as well document the experience." Maybe that will help.

"How many times have you been a senior?" What can I say she's too smart for her own good.

"That's different."

Now we were going to have the whole I want to be a vampire discussion again. Well I don't want to put this kind of life on you. Why, don't you want me to be able to stay with you forever. Well, why can't you just live with the time we have now? I want to always be with you. Here it comes... I hope not for my sake of the argument, two against one. Maybe I will dazzle her. I held out my hand and she took it without any comments.

"So, as discussed, I am not allowed to wish you a happy birthday, is that correct?" I wanted to but I wanted her happy so my lips are sealed.

"Yes this is correct."

"Just checking." I wanted to say it anyway she was adorable when mad at me. "You might have changed your mind. Most people seem to enjoy things like birthdays and gifts."

Just then Alice thought... _She isn't like most people remember?_ And began to laugh her musical laugh. She then said, "Of course you'll enjoy it. Everyone is supposed to be nice to you today and give you your way, Bella. What's the worst that could happen?" Oh no, she opened that door again.

"Getting Older." Maybe if I smile it will dazzle her she'll forget this whole conversation and go to class.

"Eighteen isn't very old," Alice said, " Besides don't women normally wait till their twenty-nine to get upset over birthdays?"

This is not going to help I can see it in her eyes. Even before she mumbles, " It's older than Edward." My name formed in her mouth made me feel as cold as I truly am. I sighed. When can we get off this subject?... Please say something else Alice. Talk about the weather, school, I wouldn't care if you talked about shoes right now, just anything but her birthday.

" Technically," Alice began in a light voice, " Just by a little year though." No help at all. Edward sorry I brought it up again, but do really think it's such a bad subject?

I can't believe we are still having this conversation. What will it take to get her to understand that I am not changing my mind on the whole vampire thing? I told them both it was never going to happen, not on my watch. Nobody will go against my wishes. Please just change the subject.

"What time will you be at the house," Alice asked. Thank You. I could kiss you right now.

Now she looked mortified. Well at least we were off the immortal subject.

"I didn't know I had plans to be there."

"Oh, be fair, Bella," Alice was now going to give it to her," You aren't going to ruined all our fun like that, are you?"

" I thought my birthday was about what I want." Another agruement between best friends really quite cute.

Before this turned out to be another horrible conversation, "I'll get her from Charlie's right after school." I hope she didn't realize I ignored her comment all together.

"Have to work." Well, Alice can tell her the good news about work.

"You don't actually," Let's see how this event turns out, "I Already spoke to Mrs. Newton about it. She's trading your shifts. She said to tell you' happy birthday.'"

Her next excuse," I--- I still can't come over," wait here it comes," I, well, I haven't watched Romeo and Juliet yet for English."

_Edward does she really think that's a valid excuse,_ Alice snorted, "You have Romeo and Juliet memorized."

I can't wait to see what her next statement is."But Mr. Berty said we needed to see it performed to fully appreciate it---That's how Shakespeare intended it to be presented." Can't believe, as bright as she is, this is the nest she can come up with. I rolled my eyes. This isn't going to end well, but Alice would have given up if she saw Bella winning this agruement.

"You've already seen the movie," Alice said. I can see who's not going to give up without a fight. I didn't mind that Bella didn't want to go. She was going to be alone with seven vampires. I hoped that one day she would run away screaming in terror, but that was unlikely to ever happen. Maybe I can offer her the best doctors in the world, if she would just admit she had a problem with her fear factor in her brain.

"Not the nineteen-sixties version. Mr. Berty said it was the best."

At that moment Alice lost her little grin. "This can be easy, or this can be hard, Bella, but one way or the other---"

Time to step in and let both sides win."Relax, Alice. If Bella wants to watch a movie, than she can. It's her birthday."

"So there." So childish to say, but so unconditionally adorable.

She's really going to hate me for this next thing."I'll bring her over around seven," ah the crease in between her eyes, "That will give you more time to set up."

_Thank You, Edward. I owe you one._ Alice started to laugh then said, "Sounds good. See you tonight, Bella! It'll be fun, you'll see." She smiled, showing all her teeth, and pecked Bella on the cheek before dancing off to class.

"Edward, please---," I silenced with my finger pressed against her warm soft lips. I could feel the warmth of her breath against my cool skin.

"Let's discuss it later. We're going to be late for class." We had almost all the same classes together. It still seeks to amaze me how I can dazzle so many female staff members at our school. We walked into class and took our usual seats.

My no longer rival Mike Newton was in our class. He was still thinking he had a chance with Bella.

_One day he'll break her heart. Guess who will be there to mend it. That's right me. Then... _

I can't believe he still has those dumb fantasies about her. I want to tell him they will never come true, but that would be extremely incompetent. How would I be able to explain knowing those little visions of his? I am glad he no longer stares at Bella with those Bambi eyes like she's doing something wrong loving me. When he uses to do that she got this guilt look in her eyes. I hated him for it, but now us as a couple isn't that good of gossip anymore. We had been together for half a year now. It still bemused me how she could love a monster, but I no longer waited for her to run screaming from me.

TO BE CONTINUED...


	2. Lunch for the human

A/n here's the second chapter. I made the first chapter of New moon into at least four different chapters for fanfiction. Hope you enjoy this as much as you enjoyed the first chapter. I sorta made up the conversation for this chapter. It's during lunch and the rest of the school day. Bella doesn't say much about lunch that day, so I got a bit creative. Review the story and tell me what you think. I'm up for some Ideas for what I should do for the Romeo and Juliet chapter,coming soon.

CH.2-

Lunch was inevitable as usual. I sat with Bella and her friends. At least most of the people at the table were her friends. I never really liked Lauren. She loathes Bella with a passionate hatred. I can read her thoughts, but I still can't figure out why she dislikes Bella so much.

I sat down next to Bella and Alice. They both smiled at me. "Hello, Edward," Alice spoke," how were your guys classes? Anyone wish the birthday girl a happy birthday?"

"No, not that they weren't thinking of it though." _Ha, I knew that would happen. She thinks she's getting off light, then she isn't prepared for tonight. _Alice thought with a big smile on her face.

"What are talking about? As far as I'm concerned I don't have a birthday. I was created by mad scientists," Bella said.

"Oh really who's Charlie, then?" Alice asked, with grace.

"Charlie found me on the side of the of the road and was going to take me to the station, but then Renee saw me. She had always wanted a daughter."

I couldn't help but chuckle. That was good for a right on the stop story, but not good enough. As soon as someone heard at the table they said, "Happy Birthday!" She gave them the most eventful glare of their short, never epic lives. I wanted to know exactly what she was thinking. This time her eyes only gave away that she was furious.

"What is the problem, Bella?" I asked, politely.

"Nothing, you to just basically told the whole school it's my birthday. I am going to kill you."

"Bella be rational now," if you can," I don't think it's a big deal that people know it's your birthday."

"I am being rational!" she screamed, then in a whisper for only me to hear, "I don't want to get older without you with me."

"I'm right here, not going anywhere." How could she not see this? I wasn't going to leave her side.

"You know what I mean." She looked at me with those eyes. I wanted to pick her up and run for miles, not looking back.

"Can we talk about this later?" It wasn't like her to bring up this subject in public.

"Sure." She seemed to lighten up. She wouldn't stay that way once she realized I hadn't changed my mind.

My next class was the only one I didn't have with her. Damn scheduling, I was forced to be with her through some else's mind. She knew I'd be eavesdropping and it didn't bother as much as it used to. I hate it but I had to use Mike's mind because he sat right next to her today.

This is not good. My temper might get out of control if he doesn't stop with his school girl fantasies. This was just distasteful. I couldn't see Bella doing any of those… tricks. She was taking notes and paid little attention to Mike.

_Just glimpse my way. Just once. Please…PLEASE. I'm begging you. Should I tell her I broke up with Jessica for her? No their still friends. Maybe they wouldn't if I told her what Jess really thought of her. I want you sooooo bad……._

This was horrifying to see. I couldn't listen anymore. I am not going to kill him. I would have to leave with my family. I would have to leave Bella and never return. Not gonna do it. Not gonna. Not gonna. No matter how pissed I am. I want to just break a couple bones. He won't get hurt that badly. No I can't.

By now class was almost over. I would be with her and then go to her house. After I would take her to my house for the party, _she is so happy to go to._

TO BE CONTINUED…


	3. Romeo and Juliet

**A/N this when Edward and Bella watch the movie. The conversations are going to be the same as New Moon until he leaves her. I might write a conversation he has with his family before he tells her he's leaving. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Next chapter I will thank my fav reviewers. So please review and tell me what you think. I also could use some help with what happens after he leaves her. I might be able to use the best idea that comes my way.**

**CH.3- **

**I was taking her back to her house to watch Romeo and Juliet. She has seen it several times, once I think twice in a row. I wasn't complaining; I only wanted to make her happy. Even though I could recite this version of the movie by heart.**

**I had decided I would drive her home, but when I held the passenger door open like a gentleman, she protested, "It's my birthday, don't I get to drive?"**

**I came back with, "I'm pretending it's not your birthday, just as you wished."**

"**If it's not my birthday, then I don't have to go over to your house tonight…"**

**Great, she hadn't given up yet. "All right." I can't wait to look at those incredulous eyes and figure out what she was thinking, as I went to open the driver door for her. "Happy birthday."**

**She was furious and the way the blood rushed to her face I thought she would faint right there. "Shh," she climbed in. **

**I think I'll give her a little hint to her present , but it won't give anything away. "Your radio has horrible reception."I knew she wasn't going to smile at that comment. I didn't want to pick on her truck, but I did want to see her face when she figured out why I said it.**

"**You want a nice stereo? Drive your own car." She said it with an edge. Was she nervous about tonight? No, she couldn't be, everyone in my family loved her… but Rosalie.**

**We arrived at her house. As she parked, I took her face into my hands as gentle as possible; she was so breakable. "You should be in a good mood, today of all days," I whispered to her.**

"**And if I don't want to be in a good mood?" she said breathlessly. I was dazzling her again.**

**I looked at her with certainty, "Too bad."**

**I closed the gap between us with a kiss. Hoping this would help out with the nervousness so plainly in her eyes now. I breathed, "Be good, please." I kissed her one more time and her heart beat was so fast I thought she was going into cardiac arrest. **

"**Do you think I'll ever get better at this?" she asked. "That my heart might someday stop trying to jump out of my chest whenever you touch me?"**

"**I really hope not," I said. I loved the way I made her feel, and anything different wouldn't have the same effect on me.**

**She looked exasperated and rolled her eyes at me, "Let's go watch the Capulets and Montagues hack each other up, all right?" **

**Of course it was all right. I wanted to make happy on her birthday. "Your wish, my command."**

**I lie down on her couch as she popped the movie in, and fast-forwarding to the actual beginning. I grabbed her and sprawled her over top of me, as soon as she sat down. Afterwards I draped the afghan across her body. I was aware of how cold I was compared to her warm blooded body. **

**Then I made small talk with her, "You know, I never had much patience with Romeo."**

**She stared at me, then said, "What's wrong with Romeo?" I wish I knew what she was thinking.**

**Here comes an argument, "Well, first of all, he's in love with this Rosaline—don't you think it makes him a bit fickle? And then, a few minutes after their wedding, he kills Juliet's cousin. That's not very brilliant. Mistake after mistake. Could he have destroyed his own happiness any more thoroughly?" **

**She sighed, then replied, "Do you want me to watch this alone?" I can't believe this is what she thought I meant. I have to explain, but how?**

"**No, I'll mostly be watching you, anyway," I began, rubbing her arm to feel it rise into little bumps, "Will you cry?"**

"**Probably," she told me, "if I'm paying attention." I'm glad I came to watch the movie with her. Now, I can comfort her.**

**As she watched the movie, I whispered all of Romeo's lines in her ear. She became interested immediately after this started. She began to sob as Juliet awoke to her new husband dead. **

**Time to talk again, "I'll admit I do sort of envy him here." Dying her tears with her soft, silky hair. **

"**She's very pretty."**

**I made the most disgusted sound I could think of, "I don't envy him the **_**girl**_**—just ease of the suicide," I began, "You humans have it so easy! All you have to do is throw down one tiny bottle of plant extracts…."**

**She looked so confused, then gasped, "What?"**

**I liked her innocence. She was so demure about things. She would never have thought about something like that. The truth was all I could offer for now. I had to tell her I thought about committing suicide. **

**Here it goes, "It's something I had to think about once, and I knew from Carlisle's experience that it wouldn't be simple. I'm not even sure how many ways Carlisle tried to kill himself in the beginning… after he realized what he had become…" I had become almost rigid with seriousness of this conversation, but at the statement it became light again, "And he's clearly still in excellent health."**

**She was clearly upset, "What are you talking about?" She demanded, "What do you mean, this something you had to think about once?"**

**Well, now she would be devastated, "Last spring when you were…nearly killed…" This is so hard to come out and say because I have no idea what she's thinking or what her reaction will be until she gives it. "Of course I was trying to find you alive, but part of my mind was making contingency plans. Like I said, it's not that easy for me as it is for a human." Oh God, what was I thinking bringing this up?**

**She shook her head in confusion, "Contingency plans?" **

"**Well I wasn't going to live without you." I rolled my eyes. Could she honestly not know that? "But I wasn't sure how to do it—I knew Emmett and Jasper would never… so I was thinking I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi." Was this enough information to get off this subject. I didn't want to talk about it anymore.**

"**What is the Volturi?" she asked. Of course she wouldn't know much, but let's refresh her memory. **

"**The Volturi are a family," I began again, "A very old, very powerful family of our kind, I suppose. Carlisle lived with them briefly in his early years, in Italy, before he settled in America—do you remember the story?"**

"**Of course I remember." She spoke with such certainty. Then again, how could she not remember the story?**

"**Anyway you don't irritate the Volturi," I continued, "Not unless you want to die—or whatever it is we do."**

**Her face was contorted. It went from angry to horror in less than a second. "You must never, never, never think of anything like that again!" she was completely upset. "No matter what might ever happen to me, you are **_**not allowed**_** to hurt yourself!" She was so alarmed at this point. This is not the point. **

"**I'll never put you in danger again, so it's a moot point." I love you too much.**

"_**Put**_** me in danger! I thought we established that all the bad luck is my fault?" She was furious, "How dare you even think like that?"**

"**What would you do if the situation was reversed?"**

"**That's not the same." I beg to differ. I had to laugh at this comment. She then said, "What if something did happen to you? Would you want me to go off myself?"**

"**Oh, I didn't think of it that way. Never would I want that. "I guess I see your point…a little," I had to admit that stung. "But what would I do without you?"**

"**Whatever you were doing before I came along and complicated your existence." **

**I sighed as I heard Charlie's car in the distance. She replied, "It should be. I'm not really that interesting." **

**Right when I was about to counter that I heard Charlie's cruiser and said, "Moot point." Then I put her on the couch sitting next to me.**

**She asked, "Charlie?"**

**To be continued…. **


	4. Birthday Party gone to Hell

**A/N this probably going to be an interesting chapter. It's the rest of chapter one of new moon. Hope you enjoy. After this chapter I will come up with creative conversations. **

CH.4-

I smiled at her and shortly later the police cruiser pulling into the drive way. She reached out and took my hand abruptly. Charlie enter the house with pizza in his hands.

"Hey, kids," He grinned at Bella, and then continued, "I thought you'd like a break from cooking and washing dishes for your birthday. Hungry?"

"Sure. Thanks, Dad," She spoke.

I knew that Charlie was okay with me not eating. We always tell him that I ate at home or that I didn't mind that they ate in front of me. I also was going to be polite and ask for his permission for tonight.

"Do you mind I borrow Bella for the evening?" I asked when they fished with the pizza.

She stared at him, waiting for an answer. I knew his answer because he was thinking about baseball.

He finally spoke, "That's fine—the Mariners are playing the Sox tonight," he finished with, "So I won't be any kind of company… Here." Her hope in her eyes was lost. He picked up her camera and tossed it to her. She didn't catch it, but I did right before it would have crashed to the floor.

"Nice save," Charlie said. "If there doing something fun at the Cullens' tonight, Bella, you should take some pictures. You know how your mother gets—she'll be wanting to see the pictures faster than you can take them."

"Good idea, Charlie," giving Bella the camera.

She turned it on and took a picture of me, "It works."

"That's good. Hey, say hi to Alice for me. She hasn't been over in a while." He seemed to have frowned a little at this.

"It's been three days, Dad," Bella told him, but he seemed to love Alice like another daughter. After all she was his daughter's best friend. "I'll tell her."

"Okay, you kids have fun tonight." Charlie was already heading for the TV.

I smiled down at her, as I took her hand and pulled her from the kitchen. I had won at last. She was going to have fun tonight anyway. We went to her truck, I opened the passenger and she got in. She never did anything I expected. I drove straight to my house; I was trying to drive as possible. I didn't want to hear Alice screaming that we were late.

"Take it easy," She spoke with a stern voice.

"You know what you would love? A nice little Audi coupe. Very quiet, lots of power…"

"There's nothing wrong with my truck. And speaking of expensive nonessentials, if you know what's good for you, you didn't spend any money on my birthday presents."

Of course, she didn't like when I spent too much money on her. "Not a dime."

"Good."

"Can you do me a favor?"

"That depends on what it is." She would say yes when I explain.

I sighed with my face set, "Bella, the last real birthday any of us had was Emmett in 1935. Cut us a little slack, and don't be too difficult tonight. They're all very excited."

"Fine I'll behave."

"I should probably warn you…"

"Please do."

"When I mean they're all excited… I do mean _all _of them."

She looked ill, "Everyone? I thought Emmett and Rosalie were in Africa."

"Emmett wanted to be here."

"But… Rosalie?"

"I know, Bella. Don't worry she'll be on her best behavior."

She looked a little…scared. She seemed to be thinking about her response. I had to break the silence, "So, if you won't let me buy you an Audi, isn't there anything that you'd like for your birthday?"

She whispered, "You know what I want." How could we possibly be on this subject again? Did she think the third time was a charm? I frowned at her sternly.

"Not tonight, Bella. Please."

"Well, maybe Alice will give me what I want." She wouldn't do it if I threatened her.

I growled, "This isn't going to be your last birthday, Bella." Just stop already.

"That's not fair!"

I grounded my teeth. She was always going to be difficult, wasn't she? I started to turn to go up my drive way. The place was magnificent. She moaned. I took a couple deep breaths.

"This is a party," I tried to remind her, "Try to be a good sport."

She muttered, "Sure."

I got out and went to her door to open it. I offered her my hand.

"I have a question." She said, as she got out. I waited patiently. "If I develop this film," she began, "will you show up in the picture?"

I couldn't help but laugh. This was hilarious; she thought that little myth was true. I couldn't stop laughing as I helped her out of the truck and pulled her up the stairs to the door. As I opened to find everyone standing there, they all said, "Happy birthday, Bella!" The blood raced to her face then. I was pleased with Alice's work and was going to compliment her later. I could tell that Bella wasn't that happy about all of the decorations. I wrapped my arm around her petite waist and kissed her on her head.

Carlisle and Esme was the closet to the door. He was going to apologize to her for the over the top Alice decorations. "Sorry about this, Bella," he began, "we couldn't rein Alice in."

Rose and Em were behind them. Although Rose wasn't smile, she wasn't glaring as usual.

_You realize I only came back here because Emmett wouldn't shut up. _Rose asked me. Yes, I knew this and I was grateful for that. He had a big goofy grin on his face.

_I'm glad I came I didn't want to miss a chance to see how embarrassed Bella was going to get. Haha. _Of course that was the reason he wanted to come to her birthday party. "You haven't changed at all," Emmett commented in disappointment. "I expected a perceptible difference, but here you are, red-faced just like always."

"Thanks a lot, Emmett." Bella spoke, blushing even brighter.

He chuckled, "I have to step out for a second," then he turned and winked at Alice, was he trying to give it away? "Don't do anything funny while I'm gone." Nice cover up, really.

"I'll try," Bella said.

Alice let go of Jasper's hand and skipped over to us. Jasper stayed by the stairs, leaning against the post.

_Precaution, brother. Don't want to get to close to the precious flower._ He thought.

"Time to open presents!" Time to see Bella face when she heard that one. Alice all but picked Bella up to get her to the table.

"Alice, I know I told you not to get me anything---" she protested.

"But I didn't listen," Alice said, "Open it." She had the silver box in her hands, from Em, Jass, and Rose.

She opened it, to find it empty. Emmett was putting the radio in her car right now. "Um… thanks."

Rosalie started to smile, while Jasper started to laugh. "It's a stereo for your truck," he explained, "Emmett's installing it right now so you can't return it."

"Thanks, Jasper, Rosalie," she spoke louder as if he couldn't hear her now, "Thanks, Emmett!"

He started laughing loudly from the direction of the truck. She started laughing as well.

"Open mine and Edward's next," Alice spoke so high pitched that it almost sent me into convulsions due to my hyper hearing.

Bella glared at me, "You promised."

Emmett bounded in the door before I could speak. "Just in time!"

"I didn't spend a dime." I assured her.

She took the shiny package from Alice. I smelt it before she spoke and so did everyone else.

"Shoot," she murmured.

_Have to act its burning my throat. The beast must be fed._

"No!" I screamed.

To Be Continued…


	5. Conversation with Jasper

A/N- this is going to be a short chapter. I am having writer's block but I think I can still be able to make short chapters. I will be doing a special thank you next chapter to anyone who reviews. Right now I have one loyal reviewer. Thanks so much A is for Angel, you're awesome. Alright I had to switch the rating to M just for this chapter. Hope you enjoy, please review. This is a "lovey dovey" chapter between brothers.

Ch. 5-

There was so much of her blood leaking out of that one arm. I could hear everyone thinking the same thing. The smell was almost too much for everyone in the room, but Carlisle. I had to hold my breath, but I refused to leave her side until she gave me the okay. She understood that it was bothering me. I should go find Jasper and have a talk with him. He would probably be upset enough to do something stupid to himself. I know he didn't mean it he had been the newest addition to our "family". I had to find him.

As I followed his scent, I realized that there was despair in the scent. I felt bad for him even though he tried to kill the only reason I live. His scent was stronger now. I could hear the anger in his thoughts as I got closer.

_Fuck. Fuck. FUCK! I screwed up so bad. Damn me to hell now._

He had never used such vulgar language before. I thought us to more mature then that, but times like these you make acceptations for. I agreed he screwed up.

"Jas? Is that you?" I asked as if I didn't know.

"DUH! Who else could it be dumb ass."

"Hey, language my brother."

"As if that were that were the worst thing I did tonight. Did you see her fear? I could have killed her for a taste of that wonderful scent. I should have hunted before the party. IT IS ALL MY FAULT!"

"Calm down. It will be okay I understand that our instincts can take over. If I'm mad at anyone it's myself. I should have never put her in that type of danger. I should have known something bad was going to happen to her with her clumsiness."

"Always so you to take the blame for someone else's mistakes. You're so selfless."

"No it wasn't your fault at all. You can't control the bloodlust like the rest of us. I understand what you did. I heard your thoughts I know you tried your best."

"Have you been reading how to be selfless for dummies, again?" He asked.

"It didn't cover vampires in that book." I laughed. He was making jokes in his condition this was a good sign.

"Ha. I think I am calming down. I'm sorry that I reacted the way I did. Can you forgive me? Brother?"

I gave him a smirk and said, "Of course I can. Now let's go home before one of them thinks I am setting you on fire as we speak."

A/n- sorry it's so short. I have terrible writer's block, but should update soon. Now click the little button and tell me how badly this chapter sucked. Cause I know it did.


	6. Good Night, Bella

A/n- These chapters aren't gonna be interesting until he leaves. I hope you like this chapter though. Please tell me what you think about this. Try not to be too harsh. This is what I thought would be going through his mind. Besides I'm really not getting a lot of reviews for this like I thought I would. I am going to delete it soon because nobody but the two people that I am thanking reviewed the last chapter. Hope you enjoy it while it lasts. He doesn't leave her yet but he thinks a lot about it.

And as promised: A special thank you to my wonderful reviewers.

A is for Angel

HopesForChange

Kkatie (I love her twilight ff) so good)

Ch.6-

Just as Carlisle said he would take her home, I arrived home.

I said quickly, "I'll do that." I tried not to show the sadness in my eyes. This was going to be the last time I talked to her before I left forever. The truth was that as I was running home I was thinking of how to keep her safe. To leave was all I came up with. It killed every part of me and broke the non-beating heart sitting in the middle of my chest. The knot is building in my stomach was almost unbearable. Hopefully she couldn't see it on my face.

"Carlisle can take me." She saw something there if she was saying that. I had to tell her soon, maybe tonight if possible. I could feel the knot getting worst, as I thought about it more and more. This was going to kill her too. I knew how she had come to love me even though I was a monster. I was in love with before she even knew me for what I was.

The scent was all over the clothes. It burned up my nose and through the pitiful body of mine. She looked down at her clothes. Is that why she wanted Carlisle to take her home? I spoke, "I'm fine." That was understandable. "You'll need to change anyway. You'd give Charlie a heart attack the way you look. I'll have Alice get you something." I left to go find Alice.

As I went up to her room, I said' "Alice, would you bring down something for Bella to wear home?"

"DUH! Oh my gosh, what should I make her wear home?"

"Just give her a t-shirt of some sort that looks like the one she's wearing."

"Oh, alright be that way."

I heard the conversation down stairs. She could tell that I was upset and now she was talking to Carlisle about it. I was followed by Alice who had decided to go ask Bella what she wanted to wear. As we entered Alice hurried to her side and told her, "C'mon I'll get you something less macabre to wear." She all but dragged Bella up the stairs. Bella was whispering as if we couldn't hear her that way.

When she finally came down I was waiting in the front door for her. Oh God how I wished she couldn't see the pain in these eyes or feel the tension in the air.

Alice quickly said, "Take your things." She got the two presents from near the table. "You can thank me later, when you've opened them."

I walked with her to the truck. I wasn't sure that I could keep a straight face and give no detail on how I felt. I couldn't make the choice to leave without Alice knowing and telling everyone.

We got in the truck and I saw the ribbon that Emmett had suck on the window shield. That made me smirk leave it up to him to pick the biggest bow he could find in Alice's stash. Bella ripped it off and kicked it under her seat.

I couldn't look at her right now. I felt the horrible tearing of my inside get worse as I thought more and more of the unfortunate thing I must do to our relationship. I couldn't talk to her in fear she would her the sadness in my voice.

She looked uneasy as she spoke, "say something."

I looked at her and said, "what do you want me to say?" dammit, she probably heard the tone. She has to be on to me by now. She knows the guilt I carry inside.

She gave me a look and said, "tell me you forgive me."

God Damn, she thought I was mad at her. Was I really that cold looking? How the hell does she think this is her fault? It's truly amazing how she thinks sometimes. Lord how I wish I could hear what she thought.

"Forgive you? For what?" I can't wait to hear this.

"If I'd been more careful, nothing would have happened."

What? "Bella, you gave yourself a paper cut – that hardly deserves the death penalty."

"It's still my fault." Here comes my big speech and she completely asked for it.

"Your fault? If you'd cut yourself at Mike Newton's house, with Jessica there and Angela and your other normal friends, the worst that would happen would be what? Maybe they couldn't find you a bandage? If you tripped and knocked over a pile of glass plates on your own—without someone throwing you into them—even then what's the worst? You'd get blood on the seats when they drove you to the emergency room? Mike Newton could have held your hand while they stitched you up—and he wouldn't be fighting the urge to kill you the whole time he was there. Don't try to take any of this upon yourself, Bella. It will only make me more disgusted at myself." She asked for the Mike Newton thing.

"How the hell did Mike Newton end up in this conversation?" she demanded. Ha! She deserved better than me. She deserved a human.

"Mike Newton ended up in this conversation because Mike Newton would be a hell of a lot healthier fr you to be with." I didn't mean to sound so cold but I did want my point across."

"I'd rather die than be Mike Newton," she started, "I'd rather die than be with anyone but you."

"Don't be melodramatic, please."

"Well then, don't you be ridiculous." Well she had a comment for everything and I never see it coming. I am not gonna say anymore about Mike Newton, but I think he would be better than me as a boy friend still. I glared out the windshield and tried to keep my facial expression blank and secretive. I don't want her to get any ideas.

Finally we were at her house. I turned off the truck and clenched tighter on the wheel. I still don't know how to tell her what is to come of her and I.

"Will you stay tonight?" that sounded like a last plea for salvation, the way she asked.

"I should go home." I didn't need to read her mind to know that she was gonna when this argument.

"For my birthday." Yes she was definitely going to when.

"You can't have it both ways—either you want people to ignore your birthday or you don't. one or the other." Sometimes she confused me to the point of no returning. I hope I didn't sound to angry this time, but what did her sigh mean?

"Okay I've decided that I don't want you to ignore my birthday. I'll see you upstairs." Of course she wanted this way. She always wants it the way that makes me stay the night.

She went to take her gifts and I couldn't help but frown and say, "you don't have to take those."

She returned that with, "I want them."

"No, you don't. Carlisle and Esme spent money on you."

"I'll live." She wanted me to stay and she was willing to say anything. Well, I can live staying the night with her. I loved her and would always.

"Let me carry them at least," I began, "I'll be in your room."

"Thanks."

"Happy birthday," I sighed she had won at last.

As I watched her go in the house, I walked to the side of the house where her bedroom window was. I entered her bedroom and sat on her bed with one of the presents in my hands. I knew she wouldn't find it funny if I opened them for her, but I didn't want another smell of what almost made me kill her.

I heard Charlie making small talk with her about her night. She answered his questions and told him she was going to bed. I heard her open her bathroom door and knew soon she would be in here and I was correct. She entered moments later and closed the door.

I said, "Hi."

I knew she heard the sadness in the tone, but I was eventually going to have to tell her that I was… God I can't even say it. It put my most inner self at pure agony to let my mind escape and go there to the dark end of what was to come of the future. The worst part is my family already knew due to Alice's gift.

"She came to sit on my lap and snuggle into me, "Hi, can I open my presents now?"

"Where did the enthusiasm come from?" this was different. She normally didn't seem this cheerful.

"You made me curious." Of course I did. All I had to say was they spent money on her and she would at least wanna see what it was. She lifted up the long on from Carlisle and Esme.

"Allow me," I said and took it from her hands. With one stroke of a hand motion I had unwrapped the gift. I handed her back the white box.

"Are you sure I can handle lifting the box?" she asked but I knew better to keep my mouth shut instead of the sarcasm that would come from my attitude towards the uneventful night. It pained me that she understood every little thing I did in our relationship to keep her safe and soon I would do what I must to make sure she's safe at all times.

She opened the box and read the information on the paper. She looked happy once she understood it all.

"We're going to Jacksonville?" Yes this is why I didn't want her to take the presents. It would only make it more difficult in the end to do the unthinkable thing I must do to save the one I love the most.

"That's the idea."

"I can't believe it. Renee is gonna flip! You don't mind, though, do you? It's sunny, you'll have to stay inside all day."

"I think I can handle it," I said and couldn't help but frown, "if I had any idea that you could respond this way to a gift I would have made you open it in front of Carlisle and Esme. I thought you'd complain."

"Well of course it's too much. But I get to take you with me!" of course she would be happy to take me everywhere she went.

I chuckled and said, "Now I wish I'd spent money on your present. I didn't realize you were capable of being reasonable." She set the tickets next to her and reached for the gift from me. I took it from her and opened it just as I had done the first time.

"What is it?" She simply asked. Well I didn't wanna be rude so I took the CD and put it in her CD player for her to listen to it. She listened to it as I watched her closely. She was getting all teary. I wanted to wipe them for her and just hold her for all eternity, but she wiped them before they spilled.

I asked, "Does your arm hurt?" I'm sure it did hurt her but I would get her some medicine if she needed it.

"No it's not my arm. It's beautiful, Edward. You couldn't have given me anything I would love more. I can't believe it." I knew she would love it. The song I composed for her was the first song on there.

"I didn't think you would let me get a piano so I could play for you here."

"You're right." Ha, of course I was right that would have cost money.

"How does your arm feel?" I just couldn't bare knowing that I had hurt her physically trying to save her, and then turned around and wanted to kill her myself. The irony was that no matter how much hunting I did, when I came back to her scent I still wanted to… I couldn't finish the very thought of a hundred ways I could do it.

"Just fine." She lies but not well. I could see the pain in her eyes that made me become overwhelmed by misery.

"I'll get you some Tylenol." I wouldn't let her win this battle I would get the medicine.

"I don't need anything." I slid her off me and went to the door.

"Charlie," she hissed at me. The whole vampire thing must have slipped her mind. I didn't have to worry about him. He would never see me.

"He won't catch me," I assured her. Slipped out the door and went to the bathroom found the pills and got some water from the sink, then I went back.

I handed her the pills and the water. She swallowed them without a fuss. I knew her arm was bothering her. I wanted to help as best I could without acting like she was a little child.

"It's late." I picked her up with one hand and with the other I tugged on her blanket. I lay her down and tucked the blanket around her so that she wouldn't freeze to death with me next to her. I proceeded to lye next to her with my arm around her.

She leaned against me and said in a soft whisper, "thanks again."

"You're welcome." I began to think of the right way to handle this situation.

I would go to Florida with her but once we got back I would… oh it would be wrong to… I couldn't bare to let my mind go to that place again, but I had to come up with a plan and soon. My family would do what they must to stay together and if that meant… dammit I had to think about it. If that meant leaving Forks was the right thing to do then that's what we would do. The wrong thing would be to stay because it only put Bella in more danger.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked.

How would I tell her? I couldn't do it right now. "I was thinking about right from wrong, actually."

"Remember how I decided that I wanted you _not_ to ignore my birthday?" where was she going with this?

"Yes," I agreed.

"Well, I was thinking since it's still my birthday, that I'd like you to kiss me again." I couldn't do that. It would give everything away. She would know I was saying ood bye or at least going to, but it's her birthday.

"You're greedy tonight." Is what I answered with.

"Yes I am—but don't do anything you don't want to do." I wanted to kiss, but I knew she would notice the urgency in the kiss.

I laughed and then sighed. I'd kiss her if that's what she wanted. "Heaven forbid that I should do anything I don't want to do." I could hear the tone in my own voice so I know she could as I tilted her head up and began to kiss her. At first it was as usual but then I got carried away. As the kiss became more passionate I did to. I was beginning to see my caution lines being crossed as I became more urgent. If I didn't pull away soon I would lose all hope of not hurting her again tonight.

I pushed her away as gently as possible. It left her gasping and me for air. She seemed flushed from where I lay. I had to say something; I never got that carried away.

"Sorry," I began, "That was out of line." I had crossed my perfect lines tonight, but she seemed okay with it and I still knew when to stop though. I would only regret it if I hadn't stopped when I did.

"I don't mind." Of course she didn't she thought my rules were stupid.

I frowned and said, "Try to sleep, Bella."

"No, I want you to kiss me again."

"You're overestimating my self control."

"Which is tempting you more, my blood or my body?" she asked. She always spoke her mind.

"It's a tie." I grinned and then added, "Now, why don't you stop pushing your luck and go to sleep?"

"Fine." She snuggled closer to me. She pressed her arm against my shoulder. I knew it was bothering her and maybe my cold body would help num some of the pain. Her breathing slowed into a peaceful rhythm as she drifted to sleep. Right before she was completely asleep she shuddered. Was it my cold body or was it a bad dream beginning?

I didn't want to think about it but I had to. When should I leave? Was the only question left in my head. As she slept I argued with myself multiple times if I should leave sooner or later.

Ok I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Now, why don't you do me a favor and review this story. It would only take, what two seconds to help me improve or tell me I did a good job? So hit that review. Thank you.


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